Saturday Morning Amuse Bouche

This is my favorite scene in L.A. Story.


You guys, I should be the one doing light-hearted reviews of art, books and film for y'all and instead I'm slacking off and posting videos -- the poor man's version of blogging. I am so sorry. I started a project two weeks ago, and I've one more week of it, and I never anticipated how much time it would take per day to accomplish. If you can bear with me for one more slow week, I'll be back with more original writing. In the meantime, stay emotionally erect, y'all!

Our Heroine Predicts Fall Fashion Will Be Boxy, With A Chance of Ugly

Occasionally, Our Heroine must digress from her blog's serious treatment of such heavy topics as bier gartens to discuss something frivolous: fashion. Our Heroine loves fashion. Dresses and skirts most particularly. So, just on a whim, Our Heroine looked at the Bloomingdale's website to see what she might have to look forward to for Fall, and what she saw gave her a queasy feeling in her stomach and some sharp pains in her chest. Ladies, the future does not look good for us.

Item 1:

What is this!? Are we sure that we, as a nation, want to go down the road of giant, purple, shoulder-padded shirts, coupled with leopard-print leggings? Have we really thought this through? I mean really thought it through, using the scientific method and such?

Item 2:

Bloomingdale's calls this a dress. No, it's not. It is a shirt with a belt. It's not even debatable. It's just science.

Item 3:


Oh, come on! Do you see those shoulders? Haven't we - again - as a nation, been making fun of ridiculous 80's shoulder pads until as recently as 11:59 p.m. last evening? Don't try to tell me that while I slept with a cat curled around my head, linebacker shoulders became foxy. Neither me, nor the cat, are fooled.

Item 4:


I've not much to say except, AGAIN WITH THE LEOPARD PRINT LEGGINGS? Why are you doing this to me Diane von Furstenburg? Why?

Looks like this Fall I learn to live in sweats, because I refuse to beclown myself as indicated above.



ALSO: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, FRANK AND BMT!

Saturday Morning Amuse Bouche

I have no interest in seeing the upcoming disaster p*rn flick, 2012. But I would pay good money to see the movie below, which (I'm pretty sure) is the director's cut version.



via io9.com


Enjoy your day! Our Heroine is off to the beach with her parasol.

Our Heroine Is Not a Drinker

...so I admire perseverance in drinking more than most. To wit, I had to record this giant (empty) Spaten mug that my friend's hubby enjoyed with us during a sunny outing at Zeppelin Hall. I forgot to add a pen for scale, but trust me, it was large.

He who drinks beer sleeps well.
He who sleeps well cannot sin.
He who does not sin goes to heaven.
Amen.

Unknown German Monk

Our Heroine Leaves You To Entertain Yourselves

For the next two days, I am working as a photographer's assistant in New York City. Because I am cool (I am not cool).

Entertain yourselves, folks, and I will return with my thoughts on Public Enemies (hint: even Christian Bale was boring, which was previously believed to be a scientific impossibility), Odd Thomas, and maybe even The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

Daumen drücken mein Freundeskreis!

Saturday Morning Amuse Bouche

This is how I know there is a God. Because there is no reason why making extreme art with sheep dressed in LED saddles helps us evolutionarily. It's just awesome for awesome's sake, which is the best kind of awesome.



P.S. I am going to marry one of those shepherds, if he will have me, and we and our children will make extreme sheep art for the rest of our born days.

Updated: Let's Go Mets! (See Y'all Tomorrow)

I'm a Mets fan going to a Yankees game tonight, people, so I've no time for posting. I have an outfit to plan, and evil plots to hatch and implement.



Updated: Thanks to The Anchoress, I have discovered that the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton results are in, so if you like laughter with your literature, do go read the winning entries by clicking here.