Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Our Heroine Predicts Fall Fashion Will Be Boxy, With A Chance of Ugly

Occasionally, Our Heroine must digress from her blog's serious treatment of such heavy topics as bier gartens to discuss something frivolous: fashion. Our Heroine loves fashion. Dresses and skirts most particularly. So, just on a whim, Our Heroine looked at the Bloomingdale's website to see what she might have to look forward to for Fall, and what she saw gave her a queasy feeling in her stomach and some sharp pains in her chest. Ladies, the future does not look good for us.

Item 1:

What is this!? Are we sure that we, as a nation, want to go down the road of giant, purple, shoulder-padded shirts, coupled with leopard-print leggings? Have we really thought this through? I mean really thought it through, using the scientific method and such?

Item 2:

Bloomingdale's calls this a dress. No, it's not. It is a shirt with a belt. It's not even debatable. It's just science.

Item 3:


Oh, come on! Do you see those shoulders? Haven't we - again - as a nation, been making fun of ridiculous 80's shoulder pads until as recently as 11:59 p.m. last evening? Don't try to tell me that while I slept with a cat curled around my head, linebacker shoulders became foxy. Neither me, nor the cat, are fooled.

Item 4:


I've not much to say except, AGAIN WITH THE LEOPARD PRINT LEGGINGS? Why are you doing this to me Diane von Furstenburg? Why?

Looks like this Fall I learn to live in sweats, because I refuse to beclown myself as indicated above.



ALSO: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, FRANK AND BMT!
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4 comments:

BMT said...

Thanks for the anniversary wishes! I was reading the free subway paper on the way to work yesterday (because I am so intellectual) and I had the same thoughts looking at the fashion page. I don't know if the link will come up, but this "strong-shouldered" jacket was a top pick for Fall. Ugh.
http://www.fashionologie.com/2891990?page=0,0,14

July 15, 2009 at 5:32 PM
Our Heroine said...

Sweet fancy apple, that is one ugly jacket. The sequined Hammer pants rival it in fug, however.

July 16, 2009 at 12:50 PM
godescalc said...

If you're going to cite the scientific method, I must wave my scientific degree at you, as I declare: ...well, actually, those shoulderpads do look rather silly. But I must dissent on the 2nd and 4th pictures, which strike me as quite stylish.

July 16, 2009 at 7:45 PM
Our Heroine said...

godescalc: I don't have *strong* objections to the second and fourth pics either. I only object to a) what is clearly a shirt being called a "dress," and b) the ubiquitousness of the leopard print leggings. I think that purple mini-dress is rather fetching otherwise!

Also, I am the Mrs. Malaprop of science - there is no term I shrink from using incorrectly!

July 16, 2009 at 8:37 PM

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