Our Heroine Borrows Wholesale

...from Eve Tushnet, so awesome.

But the angel said to me, "Why marvel? I will tell you the mystery of the woman, and of the beast with seven heads and ten horns that carries her. The beast that you saw was, and is not, and is to ascend from the bottomless pit and go to perdition; and the dwellers on earth whose names have not been written in the book of life from the foundation of the world, will marvel to behold the beast, because it was and is not and is to come."
--Revelation 17:7-8

Creepiest beast ever, y'all. It's the absence of present-tense: beast tomorrow and beast yesterday, but never beast today. So scary and real.

Our Heroine Illuminates the Difference Between Protestant Vs. Catholic Heaven

I think I may post this clip on my blog once a week forever, it is just that entertaining to me. I love the whole thing from start to finish, but this week, my favorite line is the first one, spoken by the dee-lightful Ned Flanders, "Bart and Homer can't go Catholic, the Romans have been separate from us since the schism of Lourdes in 1573 and that was about our holy right to come to church with wet hair! Which...we've since abolished."

I know, I know, I'll say it for you: I am such a geek! (but a well-accessorized one)

Who Made Our Heroine Love this Poem?

Fun with science and nature poems!


WHO MADE YOU FOR THE DARK?

Darkling beetle, black and shining jewel,
What jeweler could have formed you, with what tool?
What burr or jig or pliers set your shape,
On what suspended rod your armor draped,
On which round mold your head and thorax bent,
For whose joy were those elytra meant -
What burin graved the parallels that run
From point of wing to where the head’s begun?

Your mandibles that twist, your eyes that globe,
Your furred antennae delicate that probe
The galleries that run beneath the bark
Of dying trees – who made you for the dark?

Pavel Chichikov

Our Heroine Covets...

...this green gabardine trapeze shirtdress from Abaete. I love Abaete's simple, Mod-influenced shapes. I just wish their dresses came with a personal trainer equipped with a tough-but-fair program for toning my legs.

However, trainer or no, I intend to own this dress by summer's end and wear it with knee-high boots someplace fun: the Dunkin Donuts on my corner where I buy my morning coffee, the post-office, the place where I get my eyebrows waxed, the dentist, Church on Sunday, the movies, my Mom's house, the laundromat, my couch on Wednesday nights while watching Lost, and possibly even the gym, depending on how it wicks sweat away from the skin.

Our Heroine Has Intestinal FORTITUDE!!! Eats PORTIONED Meals!!! Enjoys NOURISHMENT!!!

I don't know why things like this crack me up, but they do. If I had the powers of the strange like these folk(s) I would definitely run around putting the strange everywhere, including eBay. (h/t Dale Price)

Some of my favorite bits of feedback:

• Millenia ago your merchandise roamed free. I didn't bid then and I won't now.
• There was NO REASON for you to call my house and yell at my children. Still, A+
• Nux VOMICA! I invoke you, BEAST! But I only do so because you are HONEST! "A++"'

Read the whole thing: eBay Feedback Profile

Our Heroine Has a Predilection for Sundresses

...especially those of the citrus-hued persuasion. Look at this super-sunshiny cute dress I bought at ATLoft this past Monday with my Mom, who insisted I should wear it with a white cardigan over it, and then bought me one to drive the point home. *Sigh* I love dress shopping!

Wearable sorbet.

Our Heroine Prints a Correction

I was so excited I typed too fast and made a boo boo: The Weakerthans are performing in New York City on June 22, not the 23rd as I wrote last week. I've also corrected the original post.